March Madness

March is in full swing and that means heavy hitters in California. This past weekend was the San Dimas Stage Race and it was not the race I had hoped for-to say the least. Since the dissapointment of SDSR I have been struggling with my self-confidence in preparation for the next big event on the calendar, the Redlands Bicycle Classic.

This past Friday was the first stage for the 2010 SDSR and it was an uphill time trial...my two strengths clearly. I had a great warm up but was lacking the competitive edge needed for such an event. It didnt help that I was starting near the end of the stacked women's field simply giving more women the chance to pass me. As each of the four women passed me on my trek up Glendora Mountain Road my heart sank lower. My time showed exactly how bad my effort was seeing as it was two minutes slower than the previous year and placed me in the last ten riders of the whole field.

I tried as hard as I could to get my hopes up for the Road Race the next day and did a pretty good job. I was excited to get another chance to prove myself. The first lap of eight was unthinkably painful. I could not imagine how I was going to make it over that hill eight times but each time told myself "this is your last time, just one more, this is your last time, just GET UP the hill!" And get up the hill I did....four times. Well, three and a half times. The fourth saw me and quite a bit of other girls spit off the back of the front group as the HTC-Columbia team drove the tempo at the front. We merged over the next two laps but I found myself completely popped the seventh time over the hill. Dropped from my group but thinking I might still have a chance I embarked on the last lap on my own praying to make the time cut. I was so destroyed (I learned a huge lesson of how important food and fluid are during a race of this length and stress) that I could barely keep tempo. As I crossed the line and saw +10 minutes I knew my chances were done. I hate to admit it, but I lost it. Broke into tears, had to ride by myself for awhile, and spent the greater part of the day trying to recover and rebuild my self confidence. I am still struggling from it but have been working each day and night on my confidence going into Redlands.

Sunday was really difficult to watch the race I was supposed to be in but was also deeply impressive to see women like Ina Teutenberg and Meredith Miller showcase their strength. Hopefully in a few years my legs will be in that shape. I have focused my energy now on Redlands and Thursday as my time for redemption. I am self confident. I am resiliant. I am optimistic. I am patient. It will happen.

The girls A Team for SDSR (L-R Jenna Kowalski, Lauren Liscinski, Jennifer Johansen, Kendall Ryan, Julia Lafranchise)